So....some of you might find this awkward to read. "Oh, why would it be awkward?" you may ask. Well, because I'm going to be talking about the infamous "Puberty Ceremony" (Saamathiya veedu/Poopunitha Neeratu Vizha, or some other long-ass tamil name for it!)
So those of you that aren't Tamil or familiar with this concept, it's basically when you have a party to celebrate a girl getting her first period...it makes me cringe just writing that! WHY!?! Who thought this would be a good idea?!
From what I understand, back in the olden days, this was done as a way of saying "Hey, my daughter's healthy and fertile, and she's ready to be married." Correct me if I'm wrong, but living in London in this day and age, I feel that this is unnecessary, and dare I say, a bit inappropriate, especially considering the fact that most girls are like 13 when they start nowadays!
I don't even know where to begin...
There are different scales that you can do these ceremonies: there are the simple ones where it's just at your house, or there are the over the top ones with like 300 people, where you hire out a venue, just for the occasion. (Yup 300 people, sometimes there are more tamil people celebrating a girl's first period, than the total amount of guests at a non-tamil wedding). It's become customary to give the guests a little present, kind of like a party favour, to say thanks for coming. Which I think is pretty sweet. But some of the people with the OTT ceremonies, feel like they have to compete with these gifts, I've heard stories of golden traditional lamps (kutthuvizhaku for all you tamils) being given out to each and every guest. Do you seriously have that much cash to blow...if so, just let me know, and I'll happily hand over my bank details to you.
So, what does the poor girl herself have to endure on this day? Well, she gets dressed in a saree, usually for the first time in her life. The perfect time really to be walking around in a saree and tripping to fall on your face; in front of a few hundred people. Oh and the moment will be caught on camera, because we record every single second of this shit. Oh just a question by the way, does anyone know why the camera man feels the need to record you eating? It's not like he's fucking filming a documentary to show the future generations a "how to eat" video, I really don't see the need for this. There's a picture in my puberty ceremony album (yey!) (not) where I'm eating, and I'm just glaring at whoever was behind the camera...If I wanted to publicly humiliate myself, I'd put that picture here, but I'm not that brave, so I'm going to put up a tamil meme I found on facebook instead:
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| Before someone comes at me with a wooden spoon, I don't own this picture, the amazing people at tamil memes on facebook do. Go check them out, they have me laughing for hours with all the randomness that comes with being a tamil. So leading on nicely from the above meme, we're made to ridiculous poses such as the above, but also others including sitting on the floor with the saree fanned out around us in a circle, and if you're unfortunate enough to go to India and have a ceremony there, the infamous peeking out from behind a tree. Coz that's fucking normal. I don't know why our families spend so much money on these photos and videos, because I personally ensure that these pictures never see the light of day. They are embarrassing, and thank god I had mine back in the days when DVDs were too expensive to burn onto, so I had 2 Video tapes and one burnt onto DVD I think, so seeing as no one really owns a VCR anymore, I'm hoping someone's lost the remaining DVD and I'm safe from ever having to see it again. I can only hope. What else? Oh yeh, people congratulate you for getting your first period. Like you worked hard for it, and you should be proud of it. What the heck? You're pissed off and want these people to leave and they're like "well done"...thanks?! It's not even just close family, I had a family friend from Norway call, and they're like "gratulerer" (congratulations)..I don't feel like being congratulated right now..I want to go to bed and stay there until all these people leave, but no, I have to deal with all these randomers telling me how happy they are and here you are fucking congratulating me. Trust me, if you went up to a white girl you didn't know very well and said "congratulations, I'm so glad you started your period", you'd be locked up...either in an asylum or prison. And this isn't the only thing you have to put up with. There's the part where everyone that comes to this "party" comes into the bathroom, where you're sitting in the bath fully clothed, and they all dump some water, with rose petals and other things, on your head, one by one. They record this too. Coz I mean everyone looks super attractive fully clothed and soaking wet. Right? nope, not unless you're these guys... TMBOjgrSYlHQ~~60_35.JPG)  *ahem* Anyway, moving on from these pictures. Nowadays, a bath just doesn't cut it, so you put a frigging paddling pool with rose petals and shit in the middle of the living room instead. If on a random day, I decided I wanted to put a paddling pool in the middle of the house, and sat in it for hours, my mum would go ballistic! But when there's dozens (or hundreds- depending on which scale you're doing this) of people around the house with cameras, that's perfectly acceptable. There's just so much wrong with these puberty ceremonies that I'm certain I've missed out some things. If any of you can think of anything, comment below, or drop me an email, I'd love to hear from you guys. Also, I recently got twitter, so follow me @amisiva. I'm still getting the hang of it, but I'm slowly but surely becoming addicted to it! Well before I go, seeing as this was quite a "tamil" post, I'd like to suggest 3 tamil related twitterers (I was going to say twits, but I don't see how anyone would want to be described as a twit :/) you should follow: @tamilmemes, @101_TamilDating and @PeoplesTamil. I like reading their tweets, and if you enjoyed this post, I hope you enjoy them too :) (See..I'm a bit like the bit on twitter that suggests people to follow based on who you already follow....no? wow I need to go to sleep) So before I say anything else that doesn't make sense, I'm off. Hope you all have a wonderful, puberty ceremony free day. Bye xx |
I am truly sorry you feel your heritage is an embarrassment. I pity you. You should feel happy that your parents relatives and fellow community members are joining in celebrating you! Your womanhood. They feel that you are a blessing to them. In parts of the world female babies are being killed just for the reason you mentioned - that customs cost money and the poor people cannot afford a female child. Since the one child policy was enforced in China, female birth rate has declined to 5% , Brides are in shortage.
ReplyDelete.
If your mom gave you some jewelry ,will you take it? will you say it is heirloom? When you have a child, will you tell them that this is you mother's, passed on through generations and now it is your turn to pass it on? I hope you cherish these customs so . In this modern world, we have to hold on to these traditions because we get lost so easily.
For parents, everyday is a struggle , with this generation trying to bring up kids who are in tune with their customs and traditions. It is these things that make us who we are . You want to be part of the west, where there are no customs. From birth to death, the east is overflowing with rituals. It is the RICH culture we should preserve.
Do you love your parents then learn to appreciate the things they do for you, it is out of love they do it, not obligation.
In the future I hope you take pride in who you are and where you came from.
I know it is your discretion to publish this message and I am sure you won't but at least take time to read.
Be true to your self. Honor your culture and the traditions that come with it. Don't loose your identity.
Thanks.