Tamilness

As I mentioned in one of the posts before this, my mum has gone to Norway for the month. What importance does this have to your rant, I hear you ask.
Well, I don't know if it's a tamil thing, or if it's just my family, but as soon as my mum goes away, we get about 3 different people fighting over who feeds us. Sounds pretty nice, huh? It is, but it gets fucking annoying when we have like 10 takeaway containers of tamil food, and then when my brother and I can't finish it, they get offended! I'm sorry, but we can't get through 6 different curries in 2 days!
When I'm at uni, you're lucky if I have a curry once a month, let alone every frigging day! On top of that, my brother has developed some kind of eating disorder (he claims that he hasn't) but he barely eats. Therefore the onus is on me to eat all that food! Argh! And then they have the nerve to say I eat too much! You bloody make me eat it all, or I have to feel guilty. Make your minds up you stupid fart faces!
I feel bad about complaining about them being generous, but we've told them we can't eat all of it, but they just won't stop! Argh!

Right. Now that the petty rant about too much food's out the way, I'd like to rant about something more important. Marriage and divorce. Particularly Tamil marriages, and divorce, or lack thereof.
I'm not even going to discuss tamil relationships here, that's just a whole other rant waiting to happen.
So most tamil parents, (the ones that I know of anyway) are still expecting their children to have an arranged marriage. Notice how I say arranged, not forced? That's because they say we have a choice, they pretend we have a choice, but at the end of the day, there is no fucking choice. Wait, sorry, I lie. The choice is "marry this boy or we'll all have to kill ourselves from the shame". See what I mean? No choice.
They come up with a whole load of bullshit as to why we should marry the "nice"/"good"/"smart" (said in a freshy accent) girl/boy that they've picked for us. For example: "we have your best interests at heart". Right let's just break that down for a second; for me, the ultimate goal in life is to be happy (yes, I'd rather be happy and not that rich, than rich and unhappy), so I'm assuming that you'd know who would make you happy, more than your parents do anyway! If you're tamil, and your relationship with your parents are anything like mine, then you'd agree that you don't tell your parents everything. For example, I like to drink. To the point where people think I'm an alcoholic :/ And I'd want whoever I married to be alright with that (maybe not the alcoholic part, that's bad). But my parents don't know I drink, so they'd find me a freshie who didn't drink, and someone who'd judge me if I did. Now that wouldn't work would it?
So hypothetically if I married this non drinking freshie, and if I was absolutely miserable, what choices would I have? Um, not a lot really. Because if you're a tamil, they think it's better that you're married and miserable than divorced and happy. I'm not joking. I have a cousin who had an arranged marriage to this girl we knew. At first, (and I'm talking the first month or so of their marriage) it all seemed ok, and they were just visiting family in India and Srilanka. But when they came back to England, the shit started to hit the fan (or their foreheads started to fucking dent the walls). Genuinely, I woke up in the middle of the night once, and thought I was in the middle of an earthquake; the not-so-happy couple were banging their heads on adjacent walls in the room next to me, (they used to live with us). The next morning, the girl's forehead looked like frigging Frankensteins. And so it went on.
They have been married for five years now (It's their anniversary today, but I feel that wishing them a happy wedding anniversary would be rubbing salt in a wound: they aren't happy, and probably don't want to be reminded that they're married), and things have not improved. I bet you're thinking, "why don't they get divorced?". In response to that, I'm gonna throw another question back at you, "What would the other tamils think?" Let me just make clear, I don't care what any other tamil thinks of me, I genuinely don't give a flying fuck about what that "Aunty" or this "Uncle" will think. They probably have more shit hidden about their own family that they're not letting on. And then they have the nerve to judge other people. But back to the point, people stay in an unhappy, loveless relationship fearing what people would think of them if they separated. I think we live in a time where people get divorced for a lot less than this, and I'm not saying marriage should be taken so lightly, but I don't think you can afford to stay married at the risk of your happiness. Get divorced, and tell the other tamils to fuck off.

That wasn't that funny but I just need to get that out there. Tamils need to realise that the times are changing and they have to change with it. Or they're just going to get left behind. And before I start getting abuse about how not all tamils are like that: I know. I know that there are some really cool tamil parents that let you go out, have boyfriends and get drunk. But the majority are still stuck in their ways, with no thought of changing, and they're the ones I'm talking about.

xx