So what would you toast to?

Yesterday, I was out with some friends from high school, and I don't quite remember how this came about (woops!) but someone asked us what we were grateful for, and what we'd toast to at that moment... I was stumped, I didn't know what to say... It's not that there wasn't anything that I was grateful for, I just couldn't pick, especially without sounding clichéd and corny.
Jeni, my best friend, said "friendship". She promptly followed that up with "cliché, I know". She's right. Both about being grateful for it as well as about it being a cliché. But I think friendship (and family) is one of the things I'm most grateful for. Without my friends and family (boyfriend counts as both family and friend), I don't think I'd be the person I am today. They're the ones that laugh at my jokes (or maybe at me...I never know), support me when I'm down, allow me to be there for them, and just generally make me feel like I belong. These are the people that I bounce ideas off of, the people I go to to have a laugh with, but these are also the people that I have little arguments with. But hey, if you can't express your views with those you love, who are you going to go to? I love how most of the people in my close circle are absolutely bonkers, but I wouldn't have them any other way! I am so grateful for their craziness, maybe because it makes me seem like I'm normal when I'm with them!
I know that I've complained and ranted about family before, but I am grateful for them. Well I may not like you as a person, but I am still grateful for what you've taught me, be it just to never turn out like a certain someone. When I was in my early teens, I had such issues with my parents, I thought they were against  everything I did. But now I realise that I was an idiot (Yes..was, I'm all grown up and mature now!) Agreed, my parents, like most Sri Lankan parents, are stuck in their ways, and don't, and probably won't, see eye-to-eye on most issues. But I realise now that, in their own way, they do the things they do because they want the best for us. They push us to work 24/7 because they want us to have a better life than they did. They don't give us the same freedom that our non-brown friends may have because they're worried that we'll go off the rails and ruin our lives (Ok, that was a pretty big leap, and I'm not one to say you shouldn't do things, because I've probably done it myself...unless it's bad, then I haven't!) I think the way to get around this is to be the model child when you're at home. I wouldn't even say that I'm lying to myself and faking it; everyone has different sides to them, and being a good tamil daughter is just one of them! Getting back on track, I'm grateful for such lovely, kind parents, who I hope to learn a lot from, especially their patience and resilience.
I guess another thing I'm pretty grateful for is my optimism. For the most part, I'm a pretty optimistic, glass half full kinda person, and I love it. It makes everything seem a lot better, and you feel like you can get through anything. Mind you, I wasn't always like this, I've had phases where everything's been miserable and doomed. That was not a fun time. Negative thoughts are like maggots just writhing around and multiplying and just making everything icky and gross! But you have to learn to get out of it; find something that makes you happy and do it as often as you can. And I can guarantee that this will lift your spirits in no time! (If however, you think you may be suffering from clinical depression, see someone, don't be ashamed of it. I know some people can be dismissive of depression as an illness, but don't be one of them!) Positivity definitely leads to positive actions and consequences :D
Oh, and obviously I'm grateful for the internet. It provides me with hours of entertainment, allows me to stalk people without them knowing, and sometimes provides pretty good essay material in the dark hours before a deadline. So I am very thankful for that!


So there we go. A long rambling post prompted by a very simple question. What are you guys grateful for? I'd love to know :)


PS: Obviously also very grateful for Jazz. She's just hilariously crazy and reminds me of me...is that weird?

Bye for now xx

Let's have a Party! Wait..what?!?

Hello again to all you lovely people :)
So....some of you might find this awkward to read. "Oh, why would it be awkward?" you may ask. Well, because I'm going to be talking about the infamous "Puberty Ceremony" (Saamathiya veedu/Poopunitha Neeratu Vizha, or some other long-ass tamil name for it!)
So those of you that aren't Tamil or familiar with this concept, it's basically when you have a party to celebrate a girl getting her first period...it makes me cringe just writing that! WHY!?! Who thought this would be a good idea?!
From what I understand, back in the olden days, this was done as a way of saying "Hey, my daughter's healthy and fertile, and she's ready to be married." Correct me if I'm wrong, but living in London in this day and age,  I feel that this is unnecessary, and dare I say, a bit inappropriate, especially considering the fact that most girls are like 13 when they start nowadays!
I don't even know where to begin...
There are different scales that you can do these ceremonies: there are the simple ones where it's just at your house, or there are the over the top ones with like 300 people, where you hire out a venue, just for the occasion. (Yup 300 people, sometimes there are more tamil people celebrating a girl's first period, than the total amount of guests at a non-tamil wedding).  It's become customary to give the guests a little present, kind of like a party favour, to say thanks for coming. Which I think is pretty sweet. But some of the people with the OTT ceremonies, feel like they have to compete with these gifts, I've heard stories of golden traditional lamps (kutthuvizhaku for all you tamils) being given out to each and every guest. Do you seriously have that much cash to blow...if so, just let me know, and I'll happily hand over my bank details to you.

So, what does the poor girl herself have to endure on this day? Well, she gets dressed in a saree, usually for the first time in her life. The perfect time really to be walking around in a saree and tripping to fall on your face; in front of a few hundred people. Oh and the moment will be caught on camera, because we record every single second of this shit. Oh just a question by the way, does anyone know why the camera man feels the need to record you eating? It's not like he's fucking filming a documentary to show the future generations a "how to eat" video, I really don't see the need for this. There's a picture in my puberty ceremony album (yey!) (not) where I'm eating, and I'm just glaring at whoever was behind the camera...If I wanted to publicly humiliate myself, I'd put that picture here, but I'm not that brave, so I'm going to put up a tamil meme I found on facebook instead:

Before someone comes at me with a wooden spoon, I don't own this picture, the amazing people at tamil memes on facebook do. Go check them out, they have me laughing for hours with all the randomness that comes with being a tamil.

So leading on nicely from the above meme, we're made to ridiculous poses such as  the above, but also others including sitting on the floor with the saree fanned out around us in a circle, and if you're unfortunate enough to go to India and have a ceremony there, the infamous peeking out from behind a tree. Coz that's fucking normal. I don't know why our families spend so much money on these photos and videos, because I personally ensure that these pictures never see the light of day. They are embarrassing, and thank god I had mine back in the days when DVDs were too expensive to burn onto, so I had 2 Video tapes and one burnt onto DVD I think, so seeing as no one really owns a VCR anymore, I'm hoping someone's lost the remaining DVD and I'm safe from ever having to see it again. I can only hope.

What else? Oh yeh, people congratulate you for getting your first period. Like you worked hard for it, and you should be proud of it. What the heck? You're pissed off and want these people to leave and they're like "well done"...thanks?! It's not even just close family, I had a family friend from Norway call, and they're like "gratulerer" (congratulations)..I don't feel like being congratulated right now..I want to go to bed and stay there until all these people leave, but no, I have to deal with all these randomers telling me how happy they are and here you are fucking congratulating me. Trust me, if you went up to a white girl you didn't know very well and said "congratulations, I'm so glad you started your period", you'd be locked up...either in an asylum or prison.

And this isn't the only thing you have to put up with. There's the part where everyone that comes to this "party" comes into the bathroom, where you're sitting in the bath fully clothed, and they all dump some water, with rose petals and other things, on your head, one by one. They record this too. Coz I mean everyone looks super attractive fully clothed and soaking wet. Right? nope, not unless you're these guys...

*ahem* Anyway, moving on from these pictures. Nowadays, a bath just doesn't cut it, so you put a frigging paddling pool with rose petals and shit in the middle of the living room instead. If on a random day, I decided I wanted to put a paddling pool in the middle of the house, and sat in it for hours, my mum would go ballistic! But when there's dozens (or hundreds- depending on which scale you're doing this) of people around the house with cameras, that's perfectly acceptable.

There's just so much wrong with these puberty ceremonies that I'm certain I've missed out some things. If any of you can think of anything, comment below, or drop me an email, I'd love to hear from you guys. Also, I recently got twitter, so follow me @amisiva. I'm still getting the hang of it, but I'm slowly but surely becoming addicted to it!

Well before I go, seeing as this was quite a "tamil" post, I'd like to suggest 3 tamil related twitterers (I was going to say twits, but I don't see how anyone would want to be described as a twit :/) you should follow: @tamilmemes, @101_TamilDating and @PeoplesTamil. I like reading their tweets, and if you enjoyed this post, I hope you enjoy them too :) (See..I'm a bit like the bit on twitter that suggests people to follow based on who you already follow....no? wow I need to go to sleep)

So before I say anything else that doesn't make sense, I'm off. Hope you all have a wonderful, puberty ceremony free day. 

Bye xx