hello people of the blogging world!
yes, I am still alive, I just haven't been upto enough to blog about :(
You'd be happy to know that I did infact finish my coursework on time. At 3am on the day it was due in.... but hey atleast its done now.
ok, i've just realised that I do have a rant that I should tell you about, but i'm typing this on a tablet and it's too fiddly to do capital letters and apostrophes, hence the reason why its a bit messed up. So i shall continue this on my laptop in a bit.
bye for now people :)
xx

Yo dudes and dudettes

Yo people!
So I'm pretty drunk right now. And my good friend Mary is here too! (She's just as pissed.)
So we want to talk about fucking tamils and how annoying they are.
We were saying how all tamils should get really drunk atleast once in their lives and share their true feelings with each other. For example, remember that cousin I was telling you about, the one that should get a divorce? This is probably how the guy's conversation would go:

"You are fucking annoying. And you have the personality of a doorknob. Actually. you know what? That's being offensive to a doorknob, that has more of a personality than you do. You're fucking ugly and retarded. I don't normally judge by looks but seeing as you have nothing else to go by, I have no choice. And by the way, I am well glad we have no kids together, I wouldn't want to spread your genes even if someone paid me, you fucked up piece of shit". 

Wouldn't the world be so much better if everyone was honest about how they felt?  I definitely think it would be :)

And here's Mary's view on life at this precise moment in time:

"I love being drunk and not being so tamil. And I hate tamils that tell me I'm fat so that they make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin including my own family and friends. I fucking hate people with an attitude, regardless of race. Noone owes you anything in life, you have to earn it. Don't act like you have to be treated better than other people just because you're another race. That's it at the moment."

So, there you have my first drunken post. Oh just remembered something from Mary's bit: If I don't like you, it has nothing to with your race, it's about your fucked up attitude. So i'm not being racist. I'm being attitudist. (Thats not a word, but fuck it!) I'm quite impressed with my spelling when drunk :)

Bye for now xx

 

Arghhh!

As you can probably tell from the title, I'm a bit pissed off. Actually more than a bit pissed off. And I'm mostly pissed off with myself!
As I've mentioned before, I have these essays that I need to write for uni, and I can't do them!! Before you think that I'm some retard that managed to get into uni but can't write essays, no, I do know how to write an essay, that's not the problem here
The main problem here is that I have complete freedom as to what I write about. And I'm a pretty indecisive person. so this sucks for me. I have started about 3 different essays, gotten into it, and then discarded it as I find something else I'd rather write about. ARGH!! It was bad enough when I had to pick between 3 or 4 essay titles last year, and now I have to come up with the whole damn essay question?! WHY!?!
I was aiming to get it done by the end of tomorrow, wait, I've just realised it's past midnight, so the end of today, and I highly doubt that's going to happen. And this is making me feel like shit.
I don't think I'll get anything done today. *sigh* It's depressing but fuck it. I can't be bothered. Right now. I will obviously get it done soon. Hopefully before I start uni on the 9th :(
Look at what Jazz is doing whilst I attempt to work:

aww, isn't she cute?

Just to add to my annoyance, my uncle has decided he wants to come and stay over today. That's fine with me. But why the fuck do you ask me a million questions a minute?? When am I going to lock the back door? Why isn't my brother eating? Is that water or pee on the floor (it was water, and even if it wasn't it was jazz, not me!)? Who was that on the phone? Shall I turn the lights off? Who was that on the phone- yes, again, because my mum called back again, and I had to explain everything she said!! It's my mum, I think we should be allowed to have a conversation without you having to know about it. Nosey prick! 

So. Anyway. I'm going to bed. And hope that I get some inspiration for my essay. (Highly doubt it, but you can dream- pahaha, that just made me smile. Sleep, dream, get it? no, you're obviously not in the same state of mind as I am. Try attempting to write an essay for 4 hours, failing and then read it, it'll be funny).

And if you want someone funny to watch, go watch Shane Dawson on YouTube. I find him pretty damn funny.

Night all xx

Tis the season to be jolly

Yes, it is Christmas (nearly- but seeing as the shops have been selling Christmas to us since my birthday, back in September, it's close enough for me to say it is Christmas!) and it's nearly the end of the year and it's all very exciting. BUT the main reason why I've been so jolly this week is because I went to see Russell Howard live on Monday. Yup, Russell Howard!! Oh, he was amazing! I don't remember the last time I laughed so much that my mouth went dry and I had an awkward coughing fit! It's been four nights since the gig, and I'm still chortling at the memory of some of his jokes! They were brilliant. I think my boyfriend's favourite was this one:

"Justin Bieber is famous for saying the word Baby more than any other man. He's like an autistic kid in a maternity ward. Baby. Baby. Baby. OOh! He's a collosal cunt!"

You can probably gather that my boyfriend isn't a big JB fan. I don't hate him (Justin Bieber, not my boyfriend...but I don't hate him either...Ok let me just get this straight, I love my boyfriend, and I don't dislike justin bieber). There were so many other jokes that I loved but I can't remember exactly how they went and I don't want to ruin it for anyone that may buy the DVD- BUY IT! It will be worth all your hard earned money!!

His brother took this picture, we are somewhere just to the left of this :(

I also have another reason. My awesome boyfriend got me a kindle for Christmas!! It is the most ingenious thing ever! I've read nearly 2 books since I got it on Tuesday! For all you book worms out there, I highly recommend it. Long gone are the days where I could only take a few books on holiday (and then be really bored on the journey back due to lack of reading material). I can now have loads of books in a tiny little thing!! Thanks Bubba for buying it for me. You are the best :)

So thanks to all the amazing people in my life, I'm pretty happy right now.

But there's always the random shithead of a fucker that messes it up for you..

So I went to see one of my mum's friends in her shop. My mum was lending her some money and I had to drive over to give it to her, so I was doing her a favour really. And I walk into the shop, and she says, no word of a lie,

 "Oh, without your mum here, you seem to be getting fatter". 

In her shop. In tamil. Out loud. In front of other random tamil people. THANKS! You make me feel great. What the fuck did I do for you to have to say that?! And what exactly gave you the right to make me feel like shit. Honey, you're no looker yourself! What did I do? I said:

"What the fuck?! That's a bit uncalled for, so you know what? You can't have the money, you cow! Now get your stupid mug face away from me!"

Ok, that's a bit of a lie, I just smiled at her and didn't comment. I know. I know. I'm ashamed of myself, I should have said something, but it's more effort than it's worth. Tamils are never happy. You're either too fat or too thin. And trust me, I've been on both ends of that scale. Stop judging and fuck off!

Oh, and my insurance is running out, so I'm going to have to say bye bye to my car for a while, which makes me pretty sad. (I say bye bye, but it's just going to be sitting in the drive way, I just won't be able to drive it!) I was driving around yesterday and thinking how much I'm going to miss singing out load (really badly) to the radio! Well, I might pester my parents until they re insure it, or I can get a job. But seeing as how I still haven't gotten around to doing those essays, doubt I'm going to get a job. Damn!

I've just introduced one of my awesome friends, Sara to my crazy blog, so hey Sara, hope you like it :)

Merry Christmas guys (or happy holidays as they say!). Hope you all have an awesome time, whatever you may be up to.
xx

Tamilness

As I mentioned in one of the posts before this, my mum has gone to Norway for the month. What importance does this have to your rant, I hear you ask.
Well, I don't know if it's a tamil thing, or if it's just my family, but as soon as my mum goes away, we get about 3 different people fighting over who feeds us. Sounds pretty nice, huh? It is, but it gets fucking annoying when we have like 10 takeaway containers of tamil food, and then when my brother and I can't finish it, they get offended! I'm sorry, but we can't get through 6 different curries in 2 days!
When I'm at uni, you're lucky if I have a curry once a month, let alone every frigging day! On top of that, my brother has developed some kind of eating disorder (he claims that he hasn't) but he barely eats. Therefore the onus is on me to eat all that food! Argh! And then they have the nerve to say I eat too much! You bloody make me eat it all, or I have to feel guilty. Make your minds up you stupid fart faces!
I feel bad about complaining about them being generous, but we've told them we can't eat all of it, but they just won't stop! Argh!

Right. Now that the petty rant about too much food's out the way, I'd like to rant about something more important. Marriage and divorce. Particularly Tamil marriages, and divorce, or lack thereof.
I'm not even going to discuss tamil relationships here, that's just a whole other rant waiting to happen.
So most tamil parents, (the ones that I know of anyway) are still expecting their children to have an arranged marriage. Notice how I say arranged, not forced? That's because they say we have a choice, they pretend we have a choice, but at the end of the day, there is no fucking choice. Wait, sorry, I lie. The choice is "marry this boy or we'll all have to kill ourselves from the shame". See what I mean? No choice.
They come up with a whole load of bullshit as to why we should marry the "nice"/"good"/"smart" (said in a freshy accent) girl/boy that they've picked for us. For example: "we have your best interests at heart". Right let's just break that down for a second; for me, the ultimate goal in life is to be happy (yes, I'd rather be happy and not that rich, than rich and unhappy), so I'm assuming that you'd know who would make you happy, more than your parents do anyway! If you're tamil, and your relationship with your parents are anything like mine, then you'd agree that you don't tell your parents everything. For example, I like to drink. To the point where people think I'm an alcoholic :/ And I'd want whoever I married to be alright with that (maybe not the alcoholic part, that's bad). But my parents don't know I drink, so they'd find me a freshie who didn't drink, and someone who'd judge me if I did. Now that wouldn't work would it?
So hypothetically if I married this non drinking freshie, and if I was absolutely miserable, what choices would I have? Um, not a lot really. Because if you're a tamil, they think it's better that you're married and miserable than divorced and happy. I'm not joking. I have a cousin who had an arranged marriage to this girl we knew. At first, (and I'm talking the first month or so of their marriage) it all seemed ok, and they were just visiting family in India and Srilanka. But when they came back to England, the shit started to hit the fan (or their foreheads started to fucking dent the walls). Genuinely, I woke up in the middle of the night once, and thought I was in the middle of an earthquake; the not-so-happy couple were banging their heads on adjacent walls in the room next to me, (they used to live with us). The next morning, the girl's forehead looked like frigging Frankensteins. And so it went on.
They have been married for five years now (It's their anniversary today, but I feel that wishing them a happy wedding anniversary would be rubbing salt in a wound: they aren't happy, and probably don't want to be reminded that they're married), and things have not improved. I bet you're thinking, "why don't they get divorced?". In response to that, I'm gonna throw another question back at you, "What would the other tamils think?" Let me just make clear, I don't care what any other tamil thinks of me, I genuinely don't give a flying fuck about what that "Aunty" or this "Uncle" will think. They probably have more shit hidden about their own family that they're not letting on. And then they have the nerve to judge other people. But back to the point, people stay in an unhappy, loveless relationship fearing what people would think of them if they separated. I think we live in a time where people get divorced for a lot less than this, and I'm not saying marriage should be taken so lightly, but I don't think you can afford to stay married at the risk of your happiness. Get divorced, and tell the other tamils to fuck off.

That wasn't that funny but I just need to get that out there. Tamils need to realise that the times are changing and they have to change with it. Or they're just going to get left behind. And before I start getting abuse about how not all tamils are like that: I know. I know that there are some really cool tamil parents that let you go out, have boyfriends and get drunk. But the majority are still stuck in their ways, with no thought of changing, and they're the ones I'm talking about.

xx

I really should do my essay

I've just realised that I've seen 3 films today!! And I'm about to start watching my 4th one! 
Incase anyone's wondering what films I've been watching: Mean Girls 2 (meh, but I liked the guy, I thought he was in something else, I wiki'd him, but couldn't work it out), Horrible Bosses (Laugh out loud funny in some bits) and Darkness Falls (meh, not that scary!) and I'm about to start watching Athur (mainly because I need to get the horror movie out of my head).
I'm doing all this, but have not made any effort to start the two essays that are due in in January. Woops! I'm not going to lie and say that I'll do it tomorrow, I won't! But maybe Saturday. Or Sunday. Or Wednesday...
You guys have anything motivational? Something that will really drive me to do this essay?
Let me know, and I will be eternally grateful!
xx

Why do I do this to myself?

Guess what I've been doing for the past hour or so?


You're probably quite far off the mark so let me tell you...I've been watching a horror movie... on my own...just for the hell of it. Why? Because I'm an adrenaline junkie and I like scaring the shit of myself.
I just finished watching Darkness Falls, a film that I decided to watch after reading about it on a Yahoo answers thing about the scariest horror films ever. I wouldn't particularly say it was the scariest film I've ever watched, but I know I'm going to scare myself (atleast for the next few weeks) when I'm in the dark! :/
I normally try and rope someone else into watching it with me, normally my brother, but today I thought "fuck that, I'm old enough to watch this on my own". I think I managed not to scream (like I normally do) because the film actually wasn't that scary. Also I read this tip to stop being scared somewhere- imagine the camera crew in the scene, it makes it instantly less scary. So true! Thanks to the (imaginary) camera crew, I got through the film with only minor hiding behind my scarf. I'll count that as a victory.
Yes, I will, because when I went to see Insidious with Jan, I literally screamed so much that my throat was sore at the end of the film! It was quite embarrassing because not many people (fine, not any, i.e. no one else) screamed, so I actually heard another cinema goer say "really?". I'm sorry, don't judge me, I just scare easily, ok? On another occasion, I went to see The Haunting in Connecticut, and I knocked over a whole box of popcorn. I am just that smooth!


So, there you go, you've learnt something else about me. I like scaring myself; be it horror movies, roller coasters or just imagining the worst case scenario for every situation, even when there is a perfectly rational explanation (Ok, I just have to tell you about this one time, that Gerry, my boyfriend, kept on calling me whilst I was in a lecture that he knew I was in. I texted him to find out was going on , and he just called me back. So obviously, the only explanation for this was that my crazy ex (whole other story) had tracked down Gerry, had beaten him up, and he was lying there dying (therefore couldn't text) so was just calling me to say his dying words (which was obviously that he loved me!). Turns out he just forgot I was in a lecture! Overactive imagination or what?!)


On a completely irrelevant note, here's a picture of my beautiful dog...sleeping with the phone next to her. She did this twice yesterday...My mum's away in Norway at the moment, and I'm thinking she was just missing mummy's voice!

She's as beautiful as she is dopey, but she's the perfect dog for our household, and she knows it!

xx